Mother’s Day and What it Means to be a Mama
I wanted to launch this site on Mother’s Day because it means so much to me. Mothers come in all forms, and this site caters to each and ever version of what it means to be a mama. A mother is someone who has a child, has lost a child or is yearning to have a child. A mother is someone who has chosen not to have children and wants fur babies instead. A mother can be a SAHM mom, a WAHM or someone who has an office. A mother is a single father who has to play both roles.
Here’s my story on becoming a mama.
I struggled for years. I had multiple miscarriages. I was told by my first OB that the possibility of having kids was out of the picture and we needed to think about other options, like adopting. Yeah, I knew I had MTHFR, PCOS, a bad case of endometriosis and my uterus was full of cysts, some tiny and some massive… but don’t you dare break me even more by telling me I can’t have children. I’ll never forget the day I walked out of that appointment, drove to the parking lot where Adam was working at the time and wept.
After a few days of letting the anger from that appointment build up, I was determined to prove her wrong. A friend of mine recommended a new OB to me. His name was Dr. Martin. She said he was the best of the best and, although I was skeptical, I figured I’d give him a try. I met with him, told him my history and he told me it was going to be a difficult road but he was going to do EVERYTHING in his power to enable my body to hold a baby. After everything I’d been through those were the words I wanted to hear. The words I needed to hear to keep my soul alive.
I had to have surgery… the one where they do multiple procedures at once. The surgery went well but I had a miscarriage after my surgery. I cried and cried and thought that maybe it just wasn’t meant to be. I just didn’t understand why this was happening. I was exercising, eating well, going to the chiropractor and seeing an acupuncturist but nothing was helping, at least I didn’t think so.
I’ll never forget back in early January when I was in the middle of acupuncture session and my heart started RACING. It wasn’t a panic attack but it felt like one. I remember Gil coming back into the room, where I was having my session, and removing the needles. I told him how I was feeling, how my heart was racing and how unsettled I felt. He just smiled and told me to drink plenty of water and rest as much as I could. He kept saying that over and over, with a smile: rest. Something was different but I couldn’t put my finger on it. As I was driving home, it hit me: I’M PREGNANT. Holy shizzz. I’m pregnant. Gil knew. He knew and that’s why he kept telling me to REST!!
I had to pull over and take a few minutes to digest it all. I couldn’t stop smiling. I knew something felt different but I didn’t want to say it out loud. That night, Adam & I went to the Y to workout and on our way home I remember saying, “Wouldn’t it be funny if I was pregnant?” We both laughed because it didn’t seem possible… but deep down I knew. And that very next morning, around 4 a.m., I knew for sure.
Later on that week, I texted Gil and told him the news. He knew. He knew all along. Fast forward to when I brought Leo in to meet Gil for the first time. I teared up. Gil teared up. It was really special.
The point is don’t ever let ANYONE tell you that you’re not capable of doing something because NOTHING is impossible!